I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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