im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
