new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
