watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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