I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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