Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
