How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
