You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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