There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Someone shattered a urinal.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize