one might say we're banned from that church
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
