New low: just hacked my moms facebook
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
