Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
