fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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