Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize