So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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