So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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