But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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