When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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