you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
How naked do you want me to be?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
