a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
