my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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