you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
