the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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