saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
