ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
