you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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