there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
third nipple confirmed
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
