That's intense
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
