shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Someone came in the potted fern
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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