overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize