I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
