I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
