i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
