Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
