How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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