I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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