When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
