Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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