I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
