we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
