I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize