Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
