Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize