i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
