Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
