So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
