There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
