How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
