P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
