I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize