marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
