Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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