how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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