that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
