its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize