I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
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