Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
