I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
