Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
