Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
