what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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