we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
