And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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