The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
