I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize