I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
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