u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize