Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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