how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
