Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach

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(917): View more from New York City

My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.

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(478): View more from Georgia

closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..

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(317): View more from Indiana

Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.

(917): View more from New York City

me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.

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(229): View more from Georgia

He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.

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(224): View more from Illinois

HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT

(310): View more from California

NO SHAME NOVEMBER

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(315): View more from New York

I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand

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