worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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