Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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