Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
